It's Almost July Fourth--Do You Know What You're Eating Yet?

  Let me just state for the record here that at all cookouts and barbecues, I eat hamburgers. And that right there probably tells you exactly what this post is going to be about. 

  I care about my readers. And for those of you who don't know exactly what's in those hot dogs you chow down on every holiday weekend, or those who don't know the extent of it, I'm here to educate you. And while I may not have a fancy-schmancy teaching degree and all that, I might still be more qualified to educate than some of the teachers at my school.

  Here's some of the extremely healthy crap that's legally allowed in your beloved hot dogs:

• ears
• cheeks/jowls
• tails
• snouts
• liver
• intestines
• kidneys
• hearts
• eyelids
• gristle
• tendons
• membranes
• blood
• bone fragments
• gums
• insect fragments
• hair
• rat excrement
• preservatives
• some of these corpses have been dead for a while

  Where's my prize for investigative journalism? I'd settle for one of those plastic "participation" medals from the local dollar store (does anybody but me know what those things are anymore?) Also, enjoy! Eat one for me, won't you?