Saturday, February 12, 2011

Happy Freaking Valentine's Day

  I'm in a very cheery, lovey-dovey, Valentine's-Day mood, as you can tell from the artful barbed-wire background I've changed my blog to have. (If you're reading this after I've changed it again, check back next February. You'll see what I mean.) 
  Truth? You want the truth?
  I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. I celebrate Anti-Valentine's Day. 
  Think about it. It's a holiday designed to boost flower, chocolate, jewelry, and teddy bear sales all across the globe. Yeah, yeah, all the lovebirds and commercials out there'll tell ya that it's in honor of Saint Valentine, whoever the heck they were, but I don't like to swallow crap, and they're just spoon-feeding it to all you out there. After all, there's a million saints out there, and we don't have a Saint Whoever Day for the patron saint of shipwrecked sailors, and we don't even have a Saint Mary day for Jesus's mom. Why is Valentine so special? Plus, if you love someone, you shouldn't wait for February fourteenth to come along so you can show it; you do it whenever and wherever you want to, a little bit each day. Valentine's Day is for the sales department at Vermont Teddy Bear and Pro Flowers, as well as for sitcoms who need a clever plot device to get the stupid husband/father/boyfriend in the doghouse with the main woman on the show. Grow up, people, and stop doing this to yourselves! You're smarter than that! I know you are, because you read this blog! Like I said before, you love someone, you show it every day, not just on a teddy-bear holiday! Like I do when I post here for you! I love you guys! 
  But, you know, if you happen to have a spare Vermont Teddy Bear or box of chocolates hanging around--nothing with coconut in it, please--, and you want to show some love to your favorite blogger in the world...You know. Send it on over, wouldja? 
  Love y'all!  
                                                                          Love-love-love, NiteOwl

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