Everything Zen? I Don't Think So

  I refuse to write the name of my brother's blog because I don't sponsor idiocy (actually, that's a medical disease. It should have a capital "I." "Idiocy."). But I feel the need, just in case some of you out there have stumbled upon it, to debunk some things he said so you're not going around with a bunch of lies about me floating around your head like those turds in the toilet that won't go down no matter how many times you flush. 
  I did not, when my brother screamed "FLOOR IT!" at a red light, think he said "Florist." I said it sounded like he did, and then I tied it off into a neat little joke about Emma Barnes, Pizzarino (that's my brother)'s little snuggle bunny. I knew what he said. I just remarked what it sounded like he said. 
  I do not say "muh book!" in this funny accent. I don't. Sorry. Go snort some oatmeal, Pizzarino, or get a life or something. And yes, I deny saying "vensday" because I didn't say it! It's like with the whole florist thing, except he was stupid enough to actually think I said it. And then he has the jerichos to write about it on his blog! Again. Get a life.
  I do not love Mark Valley. I do not like the "Corner Man" episode because he has his shirt off almost the whole time. It also has people punching the utter crap out of each other, and you know how I feel about that (in case you don't, it's hard for me to watch sometimes, when there's blood or whatever. But there were no leaking bodily fluids in this one, which made it easier for me to watch). 
  Yeah, you knew what was in my old stories, the ones I wrote when I was like, ten. That was before I got better. And so far, everyone who has read my stuff has found it "enjoyable" and "very good" and all that crap. So there. Well, they've all moved, but still. They still liked it. 
  News flash: I know what's in yours, too, Rookie.
  I am not obsessed with the "peccalin" scene in Patriot Games, you jerk. I think it's cute. Forgive me for, you know, having a soul. And I'm not the only one who reads, does, or says things over and over again. At the risk of Dad shooting me for saying it, remember "ostronata," or whatever the freak you were saying? 
  You spelled "Christensen" wrong, you twit.