Blogsten Legal

  In one of my posts, I spoofed up a fight song for the Steelers. Well, my dad had a statement about that. In case you missed it, here it is:
Hi, NiteOwl's Dad here.
I feel compelled to point out that Miss NiteOwl may be a little slow in posting over the next few weeks as she recovers from a severe ankle sprain that she suffered from jumping on the Pittsburgh Steelers bandwagon.
Allow Dad to explain:
See, NiteOwl's favorite NFL team is the New Orleans Saints. And in her defense, she has been a Saints fan for many years, stretching back to when she first learned that one of her snuggle bunnies, the range-challenged actor Hayden Christensen filmed a movie in Shreveport, Louisiana and that the Saints were Louisiana's NFL rep.
However, this season, after the aforementioned Saints were humiliated in the playoffs by the 7-9 Seattle Seahawks, she has latched onto the Steelers like Shia Lebeouf grabbing hold of his severed fingers after flipping his SUV.
This I found most curious, as she has never before stated any affection for the Black and Gold; indeed, two years ago when the Steelers beat the Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl, her brother and I rooted for Pittsburgh while she openly and emotionally screamed for the Cardinals.
HMMMMM
Also, about 5 years ago, when the Steelers beat the Seahawks in the Big Game, she was a vocal and proud member of Seahawk Nation.
HMMMMMMMMMM
Finally, Miss NiteOwl has expressed love and affection for the following NFL teams over the years, aside from the Seahawks and the Cardinals:
*Washington Redskins
*Green Bay Packers (OK, she was about 5 at the time, but still it makes the point)
*New York Giants
*Dallas Cowboys
*Indianapolis Colts and the Denver Broncos (the "girls love horses thing", I guess)
*Miami Dolphins (the "girls love fuzzy marine mammals thing", I guess)
And, also, any team that plays the Philadelphia Eagles which would include the Steelers, of course, but that was only to annoy me, the recovering Eagles fan.
Now, NiteOwl never does anything without a reason.
Her affection for the Saints began with the Hayden filming a movie in Louisiana thing as I mentioned earlier; she loves the Vancouver Canucks (?????) NHL team because, well, it has to do with a certain Canadian-born actor who looks and sounds chronically constipated; and truth be told, she loves all Canadian teams because of this morose-looking tall drink of water.
See a pattern here?
It is my contention, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that Miss NiteOwl has grabbed onto the Steeler bandwagon because of some as yet unknown connection/correlation with one of her fav Hollywood types.
And as I have in the past (and you know I have, NiteOwl) I will deduce this connection and post it for all the world to see.
I know she has friends that are from Pittsburgh and/or are Steelers fans, but it goes beyond that.
On a related note, the Seahawks and the Cardinals are filing suit against NiteOwl as we speak, citing alienation of affection.
Dad out, yo.

  Pretty long, but you get the point. I needed to defend myself from these horrible charges, but because anyone who is their own lawyer has a fool for a client, and I'm not fool, I hired the brightest legal mind of the twenty-first century, Brad Chase. 
  Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client has been accused of being a bandwagon fan. This is simply not true. Each accusation is false. 
  ACCUSATION ONE: DROPPING THE SAINTS
  NiteOwl clearly stated in the beginning of the Steelers post that she is a Saints fan. She continues to be one, but it's hard to root for a team that isn't in the game. It's like rooting for the Jets after they lost for the Packers. You're still a  fan, but you can't watch them play in the Superbowl this year, anyway. She did not switch teams. She was with them when they were the "Ain'ts" people! Why give up now?
  ACCUSATION TWO: ROOTING FOR THE SEAHAWKS AND CARDINALS
  They are from Seattle and Arizona, respectively. My client is an avid Twilight fan and they were playing at the peak of her mania. Plus she hates the Seahawks now for beating her team, the Saints, in the playoffs this year. Anything else?
  ACCUSATION THREE: LIKING OTHER TEAMS
  My client has legitimate reasons for liking the teams mentioned above by her father: 
*The Redskins because her stories center around a Washington, D.C., cop, and also because Unnatural History took place there, and also because she was, what, thirteen? That was a few years ago, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Dismiss that...
*The Packers because she was five, and going to school for the first time, and didn't hate it yet, and she packed her lunch and brought it to school with her, and they were called packers. It was cute, and she dropped them years ago once it wasn't as cute. Anything else? 
*The Giants and Cowboys because her father is an Eagles fan, and she wanted to annoy him; they were never up there in her favorites; she just rooted for them when they were playing the Eagles. More? Oh, fun...
*The Colts because she was five and liked horses. Also, when she was younger, she didn't care about football, and just like teams because of their names, which accounts for several of the teams listed above. 
*The Broncos because she's from Denver, and what's wrong with reppin' for the home team and showing some team spirrizle, yo? Word out. 
* The Dolphins because she went through a dolphin phase when she was, like, ten. And because she still didn't like football yet. 
  Also, Hayden Christensen is not morose-looking, and he does not look or sound chronically constipated. That would be YOU, Mr. Shore, YOU! (And if you don't know what the freak I'm talking about, I suggest you watch the first few seasons of Boston Legal, or at least look it up or something.) 
  Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client NiteOwl is not claiming that the Steelers are her favorite team or that they always were. She chose to support them in the Super Bowl and there was nothing Hollywood-related about it, like the prosecution says there is. She is, and always will be, a Saints fan. They just happened to lose to the Seahawks in a--rather strange--twist of events, but that is all right because they'll do it next year, won't you, guys? 
  And may it please the court, I have a small piece of evidence that the jury may be interested in:
  WHILE MY CLIENT ROOTED FOR THE STEELERS IN THE PLAYOFFS, NITEOWL'S BROTHER AND FATHER--HER VERY ACCUSER, NO LESS!--ROOTED AGAINST THE STEELERS IN THE PLAYOFF GAME AGAINST THE JETS! AS IN, THEY HOPED THEY LOST! AND WHEN THEY DIDN'T, THE TWO OF THEM ROOTED FOR THE STEELERS IN THE SUPER BOWL! WTF, PEOPLE, INDEED!
  Thank you.  

  Thank you, Mr. Chase. Give Brad a hand, everybody! All right...The jury's coming out...The verdict is in...and I'm...
  NOT GUILTY!!!!! 
Thank you, thank you. I'm so proud to have won this case--NiteOwl v. Dad, in case you wanted to know--, making a huge step forward for people accused of being bandwagon fans everywhere. I'd like to thank God, my family--except Dad, who is the reason I'm here--, Brad Chase, who took time out of his busy schedule to defend me, and the Academy. And Chad Lowe, because I've always felt bad that Hilary Swank never thanked him at the Oscars or wherever it was. So, yeah. I'd like to thank the Academy, Brad Chase, and Chad Lowe. 
  And go Saints!