Just a Quick Note on Best Friends

    I have the best friends in the world. I know everybody says that, but I do. And I have come up with a few slogans--after some internet research on one of said best friends' phone--that apply to them. Try them on your friends. I'm not saying that if they don't fit they're not your true friends, but...Hmmm, makes you wonder a little, doesn't it? And if not, then, well, you probably deserve the friends you have. Go iron your polo shirt, you...

•  A friend will come bail you out of jail at three in the morning. A true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell going "Dang, that was fun!" 
• Friends can have fun with you without going to jail. True best friends can make going to jail fun. 
• When you cry, friends cry. When you're happy, friends are happy. When you're mad, friends are mad. When you jump off a bridge, true friends wave and say "Bye!"
• Friends will drive around town with you because they have nothing better to do. True friends will drive cross-country with you on a crazed, doomed-to-fail revenge mission just for the heck of it.
• Friends will, should you be captured by a hostile enemy dictatorship, write letter to Amnesty International to petition for your release. True friends will somehow acquire a tank, armored Humvee, or monster truck, and crash through the walls of the prison to bust you out, no matter how many people they have to run over to do it (I can totally see my one friend, my Honorary First Follower, doing this for me in her mom's friend's monster truck--what? The friend owes her mom a favor, anyway--heck, I can see my follower's mom doing it because she's cool like that, mostly because I can see myself getting captured by a hostile enemy dictator in the first place.). 

    There was another cool, true one I found that involves moving and moving bodies, but I think you can basically figure out that one on your own, can't you? I mean, I made it pretty blatant.
   So, today, when you're hanging out, ask your friends what they would do should any of the above things happen to you, and carefully consider their answer (for the second bullet, falling or being thrown into a hole would also be an acceptable scenario. I'd at least throw down some food and water for them, and then laugh--no, wait, I'd be laughing the whole time. Never mind.). And as for me? I know where I'll be...a hostile enemy dictatorship's prison, waiting for my friends to show up in that monster truck. Because I know they will. Uh, guys...?
   You?