Two days til Christmas Eve, and you know what that means: The library will be closed and, for a few days at least, you'll be deprived of any new posts from me on the Second Chance Blog. And, of course, you'll miss the sarcastic, Human Target-based humor on which you've come to depend. I know, I know. And I'll miss writing it. But it's only for a few days. God. You crack addict.
Anyway...
My Christmas plans? Well, tomorrow I'm going to the mall--yeah, I know, the day before Christmas Eve. No, I'm not insane. Well, I am, but not for that reason, even though the mall was mostly my idea, and I begged for it. A lot. But nope. Not insane. Speaking of insane...
"The mall at Christmas. What a zoo."
I'm not even gonna bother to tell you where that came from. If you can't figure it out, I don't know where the neurological defect is. I'm sorry. I can't help you. Chances are--pun subconsciously intended--the doctors don't know what's wrong with you, either. I'm sorry. You're doomed.
But where was I?
Ah, yes, the joys of Christmas. Holly. Mistletoe. Trees. Poinsettias (which I just learned were originally imported from Mexico). God, what is it with Christmas and plants? Enough already! Cookies. Pies. Cake. Christmas Eve pizza. What? It's a tradition (one I'm not knockin'). Respect, fool.
So, anyway, I posted this mainly to say goodbye before the holidays, and I guess I just did, although in a very ADD-ish way. Well, I warned you in my first post that might happen. And I also posted it because I have to give a birthday shout-out, which I think may become a habit (I have a lot of friends who will get very offended if I post an actor's birthday on my blog, but not theirs).
So...
Happy birthday, Mark Valley (December 24th)!!!!!!!!!!
And Merry Christmas to all of my neighbors and friends and family and readers, but not to people I don't particularly like! And to all a good night! And presents! Lots and lots of presents! And Christmas spirit. Or something. Ho ho ho! I might get arrested someplace in Australia for saying this! Ho ho ho! Oops, there I go again! Ho ho ho! I'm a felon! Seriously, look it up! Ho ho ho!
Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!
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