Just got out of what was, quite possibly, the worst pep rally ever to be had at my school, and that's saying something. It was, to put it bluntly, crap, and full of absolute suck. It was disorganized, nobody knew what was going on then, and the best part came when the freshman turds were decimated in tug of war (I was counting. It took no more than ten seconds for them all to fall in a purple heap of lameness, purple being the freshman color. Sophomores were red, hence the color of this post).
I hate freshmen.
Let me explain something. In the whole history of my school, they have been the low guys on the totem pole, so to speak. They come in last at pep rallies, they're the last to leave, they're booed often and with great ferocity. Often things are thrown at them.
This is no longer the way of things.
Oh, it was last year when all my friends and I were freshmen--then, we had to do the Walk of Shame every time, and suck it up, and duck when wadded-up paper was thrown at us during it. I firmly believe that doing that helped to make us the wonderful people we are today. However, my friends and I have noticed a horrific trend growing. During the fall pep rally, the freshmeat were called in moments after the sophomores, thereby giving us only a few precious seconds of chanting "Go home freshmen" and booing them. The chants were weak during the rally itself (which seems to have little connection to our actual, sucky sports teams, go figure), and we were often stopped when we tried to start them up again.
The winter pep rally, same deal, only worse. This time, freshmeat and sophomores were called in at the same time, and ushered in through the same door. This meant the juniors' and seniors' chants were weak, and nothing was thrown, because they might risk hitting us. The chants were ill-conceived and barely said.
This time? The same time again, and we barely booed them once. In fact, their "Go home seniors" chant had more firepower than our "boos." And that's sad.
We were also the last to leave, which is just not how it's supposed to be.
But I'm not just mad about the freshmen thing, no. I'm ticked because the whole pep rally just sucked. The activities were few and far between, and poorly done, and nobody knew what was supposed to happen when. You could tell it was held together with, like, Popsicle sticks and glue, metaphorically speaking, and we were all just waiting for it to come apart.
The only good part was Random Bio Teacher.
Let me explain.
In the beginning of the week, a collection was taken up: Whichever class's bucket had the most money in it by the end of the week, their advisers would be duct taped to a chair. The senior class adviser was my bio teacher, and everybody dropped money in the bucket for him (there is a rumor going around that I happen to believe that a twenty was dropped in the bucket to ensure him winning) and he was duct taped to a spinny chair and had Easter bunny ears on his head, and he was completely at the mercy of whoever happened to grab his chair and push, or pull, or spin. He was pulled off to the side or in corners during the weak activities, and then pulled out, spun around, whatever, during slow moments.
He was out there a lot.
And it was really funny, and we all had to laugh when we saw him. I don't know how many people saw this part, but my friends and I did: Once, when he was spun into the corner near us, he mouthed "help" at one of our advisers.
Man, it was so funny. That's probably the only thing from these so-called "pep rallies" that I will actually put in my senior memories in the yearbook.
The rest of you? You suck.
And go home, freshmen.
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