Clearly, It's Once Again the End of the World

  Think about it, people. We've got Hurricane Sandy getting ready to pound us like we owe her money, Tropical Storm (or is it Hurricane? I'd like to be respectful) Tony making his way over the ocean, there's supposed to be some snow mixed in with the rain, there's a bacon shortage, and it's 2012. Clearly most of the population is about to be wiped out in some Day After Tomorrow-style disaster, so I decided to share some helpful tips I've pulled from various training films (a.k.a. disaster movies/TV shows that don't suck) to help those I can to survive--and yes, it probably helped that I watched the aforementioned movie this week in Meteorology class, I suppose. 

•  Stock up on supplies. Bacon, M&Ms, chips...you know, all the essentials. Oh, and don't forget Twinkies--you know they'll survive, even if half your family doesn't. More for you. Plus, you should probably have some nonperishables around, because that's always what the people in the movies (the ones who have smart screenwriters, anyway) do. Oh, yeah, and some medicines and stuff, just so you don't have to trek outside in Ice Age weather to salvage supplies from the cruise ship that just floated past your bedroom window.
• Get to high ground. Lava flows downwards. So do giant cascades of water, mudslides, rock slides, and other fun things like that. Unless, of course, the world chooses to be difficult and end in a giant sweep of F5 tornadoes like the one in the end of Twister, in which case, if you don't want to end up like that cow, you head downstairs, to a basement or bathroom without windows. 
• Don't get hurt. Unless you've followed step one and hoarded medicines already.
• You know that little light of yours? Let it shine. Hoard candles, I don't care if they make your man-cave smell like Yankee Candle or not. After all, in every disaster movie the disaster is heralded by a massive power outage of some sort, and I highly doubt the electric company is gonna be out there repairing power lines while aliens are shooting at them from all sides.  
• Get your crack team of survivors together. This group usually consists of: one smart person who foresaw the event but was ignored by the government (or the smart person's kid); two teenagers who like each other but who haven't shared their feelings yet (they're waiting for the right natural disaster/near-death situation to strike); one or more nerds/geeks; a pair of people (husband-wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent/child, friend/friend) who have been estranged for the past few years but are pushed together by whatever event is occurring; a silent man (or, rarely, woman) who will later reveal that he has all the skills you need to survive; a homeless man; the homeless man's dog. 
• Find the really smart guy. This is the guy who saw everything coming or at least knows how to survive it all, the one who can fight zombie soldiers and human looters with equal aplomb, the one who has a bone to pick with whoever ignored his dire warnings (usually the government). This man usually looks like Dennis Quaid, Liam Neeson, Harrison Ford twenty years ago, or Bruce Willis. Find this guy, and it's pretty much guaranteed you'll live to see the traditional end-of-the-movie "oh look the sky is clear now" shot that signifies the endurance of the human spirit and the hope of a brand-new day (or good box-office returns, whichever.). 
• Survive.