Don't Be a Freaking Commie. Trick-or-Treat.

  Since Halloween will be here soon (all right, maybe like a month and a half, but I like the season. Shut up and sue me), I've decided to share with you an example I crafted last year for a friend of mine to explain to her the difference between Communism (which sucks) and capitalism (which is awesome). And yes, it involves trick-or-treating.
  Think about Halloween. Think about walking for hours and ringing hundreds of doorbells and, at houses where you're not chased away by angry dogs or extremely religious old people who call you an emissary of Satan and try to beat you with their cane, getting tons of candy. Not crappy hard candy, either, but the really good stuff. I'm talking full-size Hershey bars and king-sized Snickers and Reese's Cups and types of Skittles you never knew existed. Three bags full, all for you, because you went around and trick-or-treated to get it.
  All right, now that you have that lovely image in your head, think of somebody you don't like. I don't care who it is: your little brother, your ex (best friend or significant other), that creepy kid who stalked you freshman year. They didn't go trick-or-treating. They think that stuff is stupid. They didn't want to waste their time walking around and ringing strangers' doorbells. 
  But they want some of your awesome candy. And you have to give it to them.
  That's Communism for ya, kids. You work your butt off, tramping up and down your neighborhood and knocking on doors and occasionally getting chased by freaks or dogs or freaks with dogs all while wearing clothes that most likely are stranger than the ones you wear every day (unless you go to my high school or something), and then you have to give a nice big chunk of your sweet candy over to the annoying guy too lazy to go trick-or-treating for himself. And you can't pass off the few crappy hard candies or mints you got off onto him, no sir. He, like everybody else, wants the good stuff. 
  Now, picture this: YOU GET TO KEEP ALL THE CANDY YOU MAKE. Doesn't that sound awesome? And the lazy stalker kid from freshman year can sit there and whine all he wants; he's not getting any of your Reese's Pieces, no way. You get to sit there and shovel Milky Ways and Milk Duds and fun-sized Starburst down your gullet--right there in front of him if you want to, and most people typically do--and laugh, and drink soda and watch crappy horror movies on SyFy once you get back home. 
  That's capitalism. If you earned it, you get to keep it and eat it however and whenever you want. Isn't that much better than having to give it to Brian from history class who was too lazy to go out and trick-or-treat for himself and wants somebody else to trick-or-treat for him and subsidize his uselessness?
  Now, for everybody who didn't get that parable: Trick-or-treating is working. The annoying kid is both the government and the guy who wants the government to pay for everything, like healthcare and crap. The candy is your money, which you get to spend/eat however you want to in a glorious capitalistic society. You are you. And the crappy SyFy movies are just crappy SyFy movies. 
  Now, get out there and trick-or-treat!  

I am Officially Jinxed

  I know, a lot of people say that, but dudes, I seriously think I am, when it comes to TV shows, anyway. Every time I watch and like a TV show, it either gets canceled or moved to a time when I can't watch it (and no, I don't have TiVo or DVR, for all you smart-butts out there who want to offer that as a solution to my problem. Plus, even if I did, I'm so jinxed it would probably just blow up while it was recording or not record at all or something). So far, cartoons seem to be safe, so I guess I'm not completely fatal....
  Don't believe me? Happily (well, somewhat) I've compiled a list of all the TV shows I've inadvertently poisoned just by liking them. And if any show you like shows up, well, I'm sorry. I liked them, too. And that was the problem.

• Unnatural History--Cancelled after one season. Ironically enough, the final episode said "To be continued." And then it wasn't.
• Human Target--I think we all know what happened there.
• Chasing UFOs--If it comes back for a second season (and that's a Roswell-sized "if" here, people), it will need to be severely revamped because the first season basically sucked...according to two of the hosts of the show.
• S.W.A.T--Taken completely off Antenna TV's fall schedule right in the middle of a freaking season. 
• Mary Tyler Moore--Moved to later at night right when all of my family could chill out and watch it together. 
• Adam-12--I had to think before I put this on my list. After all, it's just been moved around in time...but that still presents a challenge, so it ended up here. 

  Yeah, I watch a lot of old TV. Come over here and say something to my face about it, punk. 
  There's maybe one show left that hasn't yet been affected by my jinx, and I'm not going to mention it just in case, because right now there is a risk that it could be shifted or something, and if that goes I really don't know what I do, considering that I really don't watch a lot of TV. I watch a few shows faithfully and cartoons usually, so when I lose those shows, dude, I ain't got nuthin' but Gumball (and I'm pretty sure that if my English teacher saw that last sentence she'd have a freaking heart attack and die).
  First-world problem? Yeah, it is, I know. But it's mine.